Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
