so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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