Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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