Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Someone signed my nipple.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
