Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
