I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
