so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
