Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
