Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
My pussy is not your playground.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
