don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
