I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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