i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
