Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
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