We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
you would pick up someone in the library
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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