dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize