did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
