week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
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