i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
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