two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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