So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Randomize
