At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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