i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
