I feel like abortions should bother me more
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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