I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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