Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
my nose is crying tears of wow.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
