hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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