ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I'm drive I can fine osifer
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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