Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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