Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
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