I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
