I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
