She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
