the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize