I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
