He asked to "fluff my boner.."
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
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