they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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