glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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