mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
