: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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