We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
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