haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
