i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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