She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize