i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
We are two peas in an std pod
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
