direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I need moral support for this bender
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Randomize
