You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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