i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
