I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
How does it feel to date your dad?
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
