I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
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