I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
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