..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
