so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
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