dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Randomize
