My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Randomize
