I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
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