Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
