I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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