Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Randomize
