Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
