is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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