So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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