"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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