I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
