Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
jump out the window naked night went bad
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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