guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
