He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
