You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize