Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Randomize
