I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Let's get the cat blown out
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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