I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
