I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
