My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize