i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Randomize
