i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
