like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
