Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
