so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
it glows. i had to have it.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
