so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize
