just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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