we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
