I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
