I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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